Horst geht, Horst kommt...?

Three important rules for breaking up
Don’t put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don’t make a big production
Don’t make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you’ve gone together for only a short time
And haven’t been too serious
There’s still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she preferres the company of others
To your exclusive company
But if you’re honest and direct
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly he’ll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he’s a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

(Nada Surf - Popular)

Man hätte das jetzt auch anders formulieren können (z.B. nach Art einer Band-Split-Nachricht), aber einige Leute werden auch so verstehen oder haben es schon irgendwie gehört...